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Could hiring a housekeeper help you avoid a divorce?

According to a recent study, about one-quarter of new divorcees cited “disagreements about housework” as a main reason for getting a divorce. The study, which can be read about in more detail here, then suggests that hiring someone to do the housework (or deciding not to do it at all) could prevent conflict and make couples happier, thereby avoiding divorce.

Of course, avoiding divorce is rarely as simple as this. In many cases, there is a lot more going on between two people than frustration over vacuuming. 

Frequent fighting

People who fight over chores often fight about other, bigger issues as well. However, those larger issues may not arise every day or every time the laundry needs folding. Housework-related fights could just give people frequent and regular opportunities to disagree, fight and be unhappy with a partner.

Lack of quality time together

As the study suggests, people who are spending their time doing housework may not be spending a lot of quality time together. Couples who don’t spend a satisfying amount of time with each other — for whatever reason — can drift apart. They may find activities or people who fulfill them, which can create or enhance feelings of separation.

Resentment and other difficult emotions

When people fight over housework, they might feel belittled, resentful or angry when they feel they are always stuck doing chores or criticized.  These emotions can make it difficult to maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

Putting it in perspective

Rather than expecting a housekeeper to solve your marital problems, you might instead think of the results of this study as a reminder that many people don’t divorce over a single or sensational event; many people divorce over the traditional challenges of marriage. Though, this study could also be a reminder that sometimes, a simple solution can make a much larger impact than you expect.

With all this in mind, it might helpful to think about your expectations of and approach to the divorce process. Taking these things into consideration could help you see your situation and your options in a new perspective.