Raleigh Divorce Law FirmRaleigh Divorce Law Firm2024-03-11T23:14:17Zhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1303598/2023/10/cropped-siteicon-1-32x32.jpgOn Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=520362024-03-09T00:25:10Z2024-03-11T23:14:17ZFirst, know the psychology
A very normal stage of psychological development that children go through is often referred to as egocentric thinking or self-centered thinking. This does not mean children are being selfish.
Simply put, younger children in this stage often find it difficult to consider a situation from someone else’s perspective other than their own. After all, they are still discovering their own place in the world. Understanding someone else’s point of view can be a challenge in this case. Of course, it is different for every child, but this is common in elementary school-age children.
Why should you know about this stage? Generally, this type of thinking as well as the fear of the unknown is often what lies behind most of children’s questions about divorce.
What kind of questions should you expect?
Even if children are growing out of the stage of self-centered thinking, many of their questions may still revolve around them, and how the divorce will affect their life. For example, children might ask:
Why are you divorcing? This is almost always the first question children have, regardless of age. They want to understand. Younger kids in the self-centered thinking stage may also worry they did something to cause the divorce.
Who will I live with? This question often stems from the fear of the unknown. They may not be able to articulate their anxieties, but children might worry about their routines and the stability they rely on. You may not know the details of a North Carolina child custody arrangement yet either, but you can ease their worries at this point.
Will I still get to see both of you? Again, this question is rooted in the fear of the unknown. If the marriage is ending, they may worry as much as you that they will lose time with each parent.
Will I still see my friends? Relationships with friends and even extended family play a very important role in a child’s life. This question, as well as worries about how their life will change, often dominate a child’s mind during this time.
Reassurance is often key when answering any of these questions. Reassuring your child that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents will always love them no matter what, can help to ease the worries weighing on their minds.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=520342024-03-02T01:30:54Z2024-03-05T01:17:12ZWhy get assets appraised?
Determining what your marital assets are worth is a critical step in divorce. Seeking an appraisal of assets is key in this process, as it can help:
Get an informed valuation: You may have some idea of what certain assets are worth. However, obtaining the exact value is necessary – and requires more calculation. Getting an official appraisal of assets ensures you consider market value and economic changes.
Factor in changes: Not all assets retain their value from the moment you purchase them. Certain assets, like vehicles, lose value over time. On the other hand, others might increase in value, such as investments, art pieces or collectibles. You may be well aware that the values may change, but it will be essential to calculate just how much they did.
There are many details that affect the value of assets. Time, use and the condition of the item can all make a difference. An official appraisal considers all these factors.
Most importantly? It ensures fairness
An appraisal provides you with information on your assets. In turn, you can use that information in the process of property division. It helps to know the financial value of your assets, so you can:
Determine which assets you would like to keep after the divorce
Reach a settlement to equitably distribute assets between you and your ex-spouse
Trade certain assets for others of an equal value
Of course, there are several other details you must consider when dividing your property in North Carolina. However, understanding what your assets are worth is the foundation that can help make the process easier.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=520182024-02-24T01:05:05Z2024-02-27T00:43:19Zsocial media plays a significant role – and poses a serious risk – in today’s divorces. So, here are three things you should consider in the process of ending your marriage.
1. Do not make your emotions public
Psych Central indicates that you should not post on social media when you are emotional. That guidance applies to everyone, but it is an especially important rule to follow when navigating a divorce.
Whether you experience sadness or anger, taking to social media can be dangerous. It is all too common to see someone post a furious rant on their account when they are upset. Even if someone were to regret that rant later, deleting it will not truly make it disappear from the internet.
On that note, you must remember that even if your accounts are set to private, that does not necessarily mean your posts are private. It is better to play it safe and avoid posting anything overly emotional for others to see.
2. Be extra cautious about what you post
Many people treat their social media accounts as a public diary, sharing their thoughts and discussing events in their lives. However, during a divorce, you should approach any post you make with great care.
It may help to avoid posting content related to:
Alcohol consumption
Political or controversial opinions
Spending or shopping sprees
Any details related to your divorce
It is not merely a cliché to say anything posted online could come back to haunt you later. Posts could come up in the divorce proceedings, so you must move forward with caution.
3. Take the utmost care when talking about your kids
Many parents in North Carolina and across the country are choosing not to post images of their children online. After all, young children cannot consent to their image being posted for all to see – and the internet is a dangerous place.
However, there is a whole other reason to take such a stance during a divorce. Posting information about your kids or your parenting styles could also come into play during the custody negotiations. Avoiding any discussion of your kids online can not only help you protect them but also protect your parental rights.
It may benefit you to avoid social media altogether in a divorce. That way, you can remove one worry from your mind during this stressful time.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=519962024-02-15T23:34:14Z2024-02-16T23:24:45Zother factors that have a claim on your time, such as your work, can also affect your parenting time. Managing your time and balancing all of your tasks can be a challenge. So, what can you do to make the most of the time you have with your kids?
Of course, the parenting plan affects time
This is an important question to consider early on in the process of establishing a custody arrangement. After all, the agreement and schedule you establish will have the largest impact on the amount of parenting time you have in the future.
You must consider all of the details that can impact your parenting time proactively. That way, you can work to protect your parental rights as well as make a child-centered plan, as North Carolina policy encourages.
What else can you do to maximize time?
Regardless of the way you and your co-parent divide time with your children, there are steps you can take to make the best of your time. It can help to consider these four tips:
Don’t be late: This applies to custody exchanges. There are two reasons you should show up at the agreed time. First, it shows your child they are a priority. Second, it reduces the risk of conflict with the other parent. Disregarding the exchange schedule can lead to much larger issues that can affect the custody agreement, especially if it is consistent or significant.
Don’t pack the schedule: You may try to make up for what you feel is lost time or the time when the kids are with their other parent. So, you may want to plan various fun events to do together. This is especially common around the holidays or birthdays. Try not to plan too much in your calendar, and just enjoy daily life, spending quality time with your kids.
Show interest: What is your child interested in? Learn more about their hobbies or their school activities, and engage with them. You and their other parent may have split up, but that makes it even more critical to show your children that you care and have genuine interest in their passions.
Be present: This is often easier said than done. You may stress about losing time with your children, especially with that clock ticking down to the next custody exchange. However, it is important to live in the moment and enjoy the time with your children.
Focusing on your relationship with your kids is the most important step you can take. That is the foundation of making the most of your parenting time.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=519782024-02-06T03:27:04Z2024-02-07T03:16:27ZRoutine is good for kids
In general, healthy routines can reduce stress for people of all ages. Children especially often thrive when they have a daily routine. It offers a sense of security. When children know what to expect during their day, they often exhibit fewer behavioral issues and feel more confident, according to PBS.
But inconsistent rules are an issue
If a routine can be a crucial component of a child’s development, a lack of one can potentially cause problems. Particularly, a lack of consistent rules in the household can confuse children and lead them to act out even more.
For example, if a parent reacts to a certain behavior – such as a tantrum – in a strict manner some of the time and then in a lenient manner the next, children are less likely to know what to expect from their behavior or their parents.
Of course, parents are aware of these matters. Even so, it bears repeating that rules, limits and boundaries should be clear to both parents and children.
Address this matter in the parenting plan
Of course, you and your co-parent may not follow the same parenting styles or strategies. This is especially common when you live separate lives in separate households.
It is also unrealistic to expect that you both will parent the exact same way. Even married parents do not do so. However, there should be a baseline of consistency that you both follow for your child to rely on. For example, there should be a higher level of consistency when it comes to:
Rules
Discipline
Household expectations
While the custody and parenting plan must follow North Carolina guidelines, it can be customized to your family’s needs. Co-parents must address the legal and logistical matters of parenting, as well as their daily approaches. Ensuring a workable level of consistency can help children feel secure in both households and help parents collaborate.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=519752024-02-02T05:32:37Z2024-02-05T05:19:55Zdebt could potentially influence the decision to end a relationship. A recent study seems to confirm that reality.
What does the study show?
U.S. News and World Report conducted a survey in January of divorced individuals across the nation. In this study group, 19% stated that debt was a contributing cause of the divorce. However, what is more concerning is that 41% of responders do not believe their debts were divided fairly.
Of course, the results of this study by no means speak for all couples. Every situation is different. Even so, it is important to be aware of these issues and how they could affect your individual case.
What should you do?
If you are debating divorce – and concerned about how you will handle any debts in the process – there are ways you can prepare yourself. These three steps can help:
Get informed about debt: It will help to not only take time to review the details of your personal and marital debts but also any loan agreements. It is important to determine who is responsible for the debt, the interest rates and the terms of the agreements.
Get informed about the law: Mixing family matters with legal matters is never easy. However, that means it is even more critical to become familiar with North Carolina’s laws regarding divorce – particularly the rules about how you handle marital assets and liabilities. Understanding your property rights is just the first step to ensure a fair division of marital property.
Make a plan: With the information you gather, the next step will be to formulate a plan of how to manage your debts and protect your finances through the property division process. Evaluate the information along with your needs to determine how you will approach both your divorce and your debts.
Additionally, it can help to consider working with a financial or divorce professional. Doing so can help you understand your finances, as well as how a divorce can change them. A professional can also help prepare you and your finances for your post-divorce life.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=519512024-01-23T00:17:03Z2024-01-23T23:50:40ZWhat you should actually consider
The actual time or date on the calendar may not be the right thing to consider when debating a divorce. The factors you should evaluate to help you decide when to take this step, however, can often include:
Your circumstances: How do your individual finances look? Are you feeling comfortable in your professional life? Is there any immediate danger in the relationship with your spouse? How you feel about your current situation will be a much more important factor in determining how you move forward than choosing the “right time” to begin the divorce process.
Your stress levels: Divorce is widely recognized as one of the most stressful events someone could experience in their life. However, it is not the only one. Have you recently experienced other significant stressors or changes in your life? You may wish to take stock of your current stress levels before moving forward with filing for divorce in order to protect your own mental health and well-being.
There may be no “right time” to file for divorce. Considering these factors, as well as taking steps to actually prepare for a divorce in North Carolina, are more effective than worrying about whether there is a right or wrong time for this move.
Beware of procrastination
It is only human to put off difficult or stressful tasks, from filing taxes to having a tough conversation with a loved one. While you should carefully evaluate the two factors listed above, considering these may also lead you to keep delaying the decision to divorce.
Delaying may not be a negative thing, especially depending on your circumstances. However, you should be actively aware if procrastination is keeping you from moving on. Getting a divorce is not an easy step, but taking time to evaluate your situation and your mind is key to know when it is the right decision for your family’s future.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=519502024-01-18T19:25:29Z2024-01-19T19:11:33ZMental health is a common concern for parents
In 2023, the Pew Research Center collected data that indicates 76% of parents are either very or at least fairly concerned about their children’s mental health. There are a few reasons this concern has increased so sharply over the years, including:
The effects of the COVID-19 pandemic
The influence of social media on young people
These are on top of stressors that could already exist in your child’s life, from school or their social life. The combination of various external and internal factors can have a considerable impact on your child’s mental health, leading to symptoms of anxiety or depression.
And if parents are considering a divorce?
Your worries about your child’s mental health might only intensify if you and your spouse decide to divorce. As we have discussed in previous blog posts – and research concurs – a parents’ divorce can certainly affect a child’s mental health.
How you approach the divorce can make a big difference on that front. For example, it can help to:
Retain proactive mental health support for your child
Focus on reducing conflict with your spouse, perhaps using mediation
Always lead with compassion and empathy when it comes to your child
Check-in with them regularly
Putting your children first in these cases can help you and your spouse effectively navigate the end of your marriage while also protecting your family’s overall health. Your child may still grieve, just as you will, during the divorce. Dealing with tough emotions during this time is normal and expected. However, you and your family can take steps to take care of yourselves and your mental well-being, so this tough time does not lead to more serious issues.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=519362024-01-08T18:52:46Z2024-01-09T18:46:01Zrecognize these signs in your spouse, it might already be a cause for concern in your marriage. However, what about your divorce? You may worry about this excessive spending with good reason. Here are a few things to note.
3 steps to take in these cases
Despite the question of whether shopping can be a real addiction, compulsive and excessive buying can become an issue in divorce. Particularly, you will want to make sure it does not affect your marital assets – or the division of those assets. Therefore, it can help to take these steps:
Make a financial inventory: This is an important step in any divorce, but it will be even more important to have a detailed list of assets, expenses and debts in these cases.
Discuss debt: On that note, it is also important to address how you will handle debt in divorce. Review statements and accounts to determine who is responsible for any debts.
Prevent dissipation of assets: One of the concerns in this situation is your spouse potentially spending to dissipate the marital assets. This can have a significant impact on the division of marital property, so it is important to be on the lookout for behaviors that indicate dissipation and take action to stop it.
Depending on the circumstances, you may be able to have a conversation about this matter with your spouse. Even so, it might help to speak to a legal professional as well to make sure you take the proper precautions to secure your finances and understand your rights under North Carolina law.
Press pause on your own purchases too
During a divorce, it is a good idea to avoid making significant purchases. Of course, this does not include the essentials, such as:
Groceries
Necessary household items
Essentials for your children
You can go ahead and purchase anything you need. However, you may want to put off buying any big-ticket items while your divorce is in progress. You may not be the one who engages in excessive spending, but taking this step can help protect yourself and your finances as well.]]>On Behalf of Raleigh Divorce Law Firmhttps://www.raleighdivorcelawfirm.com/?p=519352024-01-05T02:57:32Z2024-01-05T16:29:20ZRemember: Your income is marital property
North Carolina follows the guidelines of equitable distribution in the event of a divorce. Therefore, you and your ex-spouse must divide your marital assets equitably, not necessarily equally.
Since your income is indeed a marital asset, it is likely your ex-spouse could receive a portion of it in the property division settlement. Of course, this settlement is a negotiation. You must consider all of your marital assets during division, not just your income.
Will you have to pay alimony?
This is a common concern if you earn more than your spouse. However, alimony does not only depend on your income. North Carolina law illustrates that it depends on various factors. These factors help determine:
If your ex-spouse is “dependent” on you
Both spouses’ overall contributions to the household during the marriage
Your ex-spouse’s earning power after the divorce
That being said, alimony could be a factor in your divorce, especially after a longer marriage. While the answer to the alimony question relies on factors individual to your case, it should be something you take time to understand as you approach a divorce.
Still prepare for post-divorce finances
Regardless of how much money you earn – or how much you have in the bank – you should still take steps to prepare your budget for the divorce. Your financial situation will likely change after the property division and the finalization of the divorce. You may have to grow accustomed to living off only your income and in a single home.
Therefore, you cannot simply rely on your income alone. It will help to calculate the costs of living against your post-divorce finances. This will help you protect your financial health, and move forward with a plan after divorce.]]>