What if your spouse is lying during the divorce?

In a divorce, a lie can have a very serious impact on your family, your life – and your rights. Perhaps you dealt with a spouse’s compulsive lying throughout your marriage, and you wish to prepare for any issues your North Carolina divorce may bring. Or, perhaps serious accusations, such as claims that you are hiding assets when you are not, come as a shock.

It is important to take action, but what exactly should you do in this situation? 

4 steps to tackle a spouse’s lies

When faced with a spouse’s lies during a divorce, it is natural to want to speak up and set the record straight. After all, these lies may directly impugn your character as a partner, a parent and as a person. However, this is a delicate situation. You must move forward with great care, and remember to:

1. Control your reactions: Your instincts may scream to try and correct any falsehoods about yourself. That is only natural, but it is critical to remain calm, particularly if you suspect that your spouse is spreading lies in order to get a rise out of you. 
2. Keep a detailed record: Dealing with the lies is bad enough – the last thing you want to do is relive them. However, write down what your ex-spouse says, noting dates and times. Keep any text messages, emails or social media posts that may relate to the false story your spouse is weaving. Keeping evidence will be important to help prove their statements are untrue.
3. Find a safe space to process: Hearing the lies, and dealing with the repercussions of your spouse’s lies, in real life or even in your own mind, can be overwhelming. In fact, another’s lies can have quite a serious impact on your mental health. Finding ways to protect your mental health in such a situation will be beneficial. That might be speaking to a therapist, for example, to work through your emotions and stress. 
4. Speak with your attorney: Your attorney is your ally in the process of your divorce. They know how to handle hostile situations effectively, all while protecting your rights. Working closely with your attorney can help clear up the storm your spouse’s lies create and shine a light on the truth. 

A divorce is already an emotional time, and an ex-spouse spreading lies to your loved ones can send your stress levels through the roof. However, you do not have to face any of this alone. You have legal options to protect yourself, your reputation and your future.