Some parents choose to delay getting a divorce until their children are older. In many cases, this leads to waiting until children are potentially headed off to college, leaving the home an empty nest.
Many people who choose this strategy do so because they believe it will cause less stress for their child and their overall situation. However, there are still many things parents must consider in these cases.
Parents must still prepare
In a recent blog post, we discussed how divorced parents can prepare for the changes that come when their child turns 18. It is slightly different for parents who are just seeking a divorce as their child becomes a legal adult, but these parents must prepare nonetheless.
Children may be essentially out of the house when they go off to college, becoming more independent. However, in a divorce, parents of college-age children must still address:
- Financial support: If you waited to divorce until your child turned 18, you would not need to reach an agreement about child support. After all, child support usually ends when a child turns 18 anyway. However, you and your ex-spouse may wish to address how you will handle college tuition.
- Time with the kids: Much like the case with child support, a child custody agreement is not necessary for children who are considered adults under North Carolina law. Even so, the whole family should discuss “visitation,” even if there is no legally-binding agreement. For example, who will the child stay with on breaks from school? It is important to note that once children turn 18, the answer to that question is up to them. You and your ex-spouse can share your desires to see your children, but it will ultimately be up to your child.
- Stress levels: As mentioned above, some parents believe that divorcing after their child grows up is less stressful for the whole family. That is not always true. Especially as children enter a new chapter of their lives, changes to their home life and what they have always known can be even more stressful. So, even if your child is away, you should check in and be aware of your child’s mental health, so you can take action to help them if necessary.
No matter how old children are, parents must approach a divorce with great care and extensive planning to protect their family – and their future.