Divorce – and the aftermath – are not a game. Unfortunately, that may not stop an ex-spouse from playing dirty throughout the procedure as some sort of revenge.
The decision to divorce can elicit an extreme reaction from your ex-spouse, leading them to try and make the process as difficult as possible for you. What steps can you take to reduce conflict, when creating conflict seems to be your ex-spouse’s goal?
1. Stay calm
This is much easier said than done. After all, it is easy to feel defensive and upset, especially if an ex-spouse:
- Fabricates events
- Accuses you of violence or abuse
- Invents reasons to continue legal disputes
- All of these behaviors can be incredibly stressful to face. However, you must avoid reacting or retaliating. Their goal is to get a reaction, to escalate the situation. Staying calm can help you protect yourself.
This step is even more important if you are a parent. Remaining calm in the face of an ex-spouse’s unfair behavior can be critical to shield your children.
2. Document – but do not display
Keep a detailed log of your ex-spouse’s behavior. Make sure to record:
- Copies of harassing messages
- Dates and times when these actions occur
- Proof their statements are false
Compiling evidence of this behavior can be a critical step just to protect yourself. However, you should keep this log private. You may share it with your attorney, but none of the information you record needs to be shared with friends, family and much less on social media.
3. Know your options
You do not necessarily have to put up with such behavior. For example, if you have evidence that your spouse is purposefully prolonging the divorce process or even engaging in litigation abuse, you can speak with your attorney to take action against these delays.
Together with your North Carolina attorney, you can protect your rights and build a strategy for how to handle an ex-spouse who refuses to play fair.