With the youngest off to college, it is just you and your spouse at home now. An empty nest can come as a shock to parents after years of having a full house.
This shock and the “empty nest syndrome” that some parents experience can create some challenges in the marriage, and in some cases lead to the decision to divorce. Of course, this is not true for every relationship, but it is a trend of which to be aware.
What is empty nest syndrome?
Some parents look forward to an empty nest, making plans to start up their old hobbies or find new ones. Others may feel very different. They may feel at a loss now that their children have left home.
The “empty nest syndrome” may not be a real condition, but it can have very real impacts on your life. Mayo Clinic even acknowledges this. Parents report feeling intense loneliness and even developing depression when they become empty nesters. While the transition from a full house to an empty nest can be a difficult one, how exactly could it relate to divorce?
Why does the trend of empty nester divorce exist?
The correlation between some empty nests and divorce occurs for two general reasons. These include the challenges of:
- Refocusing from raising the kids: Once you welcome children into the world, they often take center stage in your lives. The role of parent can sometimes overtake that of partner – or even that of individual. This is common, and natural. However, after the kids leave the house, it can be a challenge to refocus your energy on yourself and your relationship.
- Reconnecting: Along the same lines as refocusing your energy, after years of acting as a parent first, it is not uncommon for spouses to feel disconnected from each other. Many spouses feel like completely different people than they were before they had children. It can be difficult to bridge the gap that grew over years of concentrating on the children and putting them first.
Becoming empty nesters does not necessarily increase the chance of divorce. However, it does put parents in an often-stressful situation. With a relationship and home situation that has changed drastically over time, some people find their values and goals are no longer aligned with their spouse’s.
The decision to divorce is not one to take lightly. Just as it took time for the disconnect to occur, it could take time to reconnect. Even so, it is important understand how this syndrome could affect one’s relationship.