As a grown adult, you no longer need permission from your parents when making a decision. However, it is often still nice to know you have their support.
So, if your parents respond negatively when you inform them about your divorce, it can be a shock and a significant stressor in an already tumultuous time. It is not uncommon for parents to be upset about their child’s divorce, or even push them to change their minds. What should you do if you find yourself in such a situation?
A clear conversation will be key
Communication is usually a critical aspect of working through any issue. It is no different in this situation. Even so, depending on your relationship with your parents, you may wish to take some steps to get on the same page, such as:
- Planning a family meeting: It might sound a bit cliché, but planning such a meeting is an important step. Find a time when you all can sit down with open minds, without time constraints. Reducing the external stressors can help reduce the stress of the conversation.
- Getting informed: PsychCentral notes that, often, parents’ worries are at the root of their pushback to a divorce. They might worry about the future, and maintaining contact with any grandchildren. They may fear that a child’s divorce reflects their parenting job. Their worries might even be connected to religion. Consider what could be at the core of their reaction. Understanding their worries can help you in your approach to this conversation.
- Listing your main points: Only you and your ex-spouse know the details of your relationship – as well as the details of why it is no longer working. You by no means have to share these details with your parents. However, you may wish to consider how you can help them understand that a divorce is the right choice for your family’s future.
It may not be an easy discussion. Family matters are inherently emotional, but communicating can help you all understand each other a bit better and find common ground.
Prepare yourself to move forward
If these steps and a heartfelt conversation do not work, and your parents remain against the divorce, you must still take the steps that are right for you. Having a support system in your family can be a great help as you go through a divorce in North Carolina. Even so, you cannot let their opinions impact what you know is best for you, your family and your future.