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What are your intentions and goals for your divorce?

Even when you start considering divorce, you may also doubt whether or not it is the right solution. This is common. It is right to thoroughly think through the entire process before filing for divorce.

One of the ways spouses can handle that doubt is by taking time to determine and evaluate their intentions and goals before they move forward. There are several benefits to thinking about what you want to happen, but here are three in particular:

1. Ask yourself, am I ready to divorce?

Deciding to divorce is a big, life-changing step. Not only will it affect your future, it will also affect your child’s future and relationships with family and friend. Honestly consider questions such as:

  • Why do you want a divorce?
  • What circumstances led you to this decision?
  • Is it worth the cost to proceed with a divorce?

Some people move forward with a divorce simply to get a rise out of their spouse, or because they wish to avoid a certain issue in the relationship. Intentions like this often only have negative effects on both parties. In these cases, it might be beneficial to consider marriage counseling or other options before returning to divorce.

On the other hand, if your reason to seek a divorce is to end an unhappy, unfulfilling or unhealthy relationship, this may be a great step to take.

2. Intentions can help you prepare

When you define your reasoning behind your choice to divorce, it can also help you begin to think about your intentions for the future. If you begin the process of divorce with clear intentions, you not only feel more confident in your decision, but it can help you stay focused throughout the process.

It may seem like a small step, but simply assessing your intent as you move forward can help you manage the whole process of your divorce. What do you intend?

  • Will your pursue an amicable process, such as through mediation or collaboration, or do you intend to make your soon-to-be ex-spouse pay for all the distress they’ve caused?
  • What you wish to accomplish in the negotiations?
  • How do you want your life — and the lives of your children — to look after all is said and done?

Taking this step of establishing your intentions can help you articulate your goals.

3. Your goals inform your mindset

Previous blogs have discussed how important it is to establish one’s goals with their divorce, but it bears repeating. Having specific goals in mind, whether they relate to keeping certain assets or arranging child custody, can help you navigate divorce more efficiently. Establishing goals proactively can guide you to the solutions you want.

Without clear goals, it is easy to get swept up in disagreements or disputes. Having a mindset that is focused on what you hope to accomplish can help you keep a clear head.