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Should we stay together for the kids?

The decision to divorce brings with it an array of emotions. Many will often doubt their decision and consider an attempt to make the relationship work, especially if there are children involved.

Divorce can indeed have a significant impact on children. Many parents might think it is better to stay together for their kids, but is this really true?

Unfortunately, there is no easy answer

Every family is different. There are no straightforward solutions for divorce, and there are no straightforward answers of whether it is better to stay together for the kids.

Both parents undoubtedly have good intentions when they consider staying together for their children's sake. After all, children could easily maintain close relationships with both of their parents then.

However, there are a few things that parents should consider as well:

  • There could be unintentional neglect: If parents are wrapped up in conflict that they attempt to conceal from their children, it is often more difficult to meet a child's needs. 
  • It can cause confusion later in life: The Huffington Post published an article earlier this year that discussed the experiences of children whose parents did stay together on their behalf. Most of the children, who are now adults, reported feeling confused and "blindsided" by their parents' divorce later in life. This caused a lot of questioning and emotional turmoil regarding their childhood.
  • Children perceive more than we think: Even though many children in The Huffington Post article reported feeling shocked, many also admitted that they remembered feeling the strain, tension or unhappiness in the house when their parents stayed together.

Staying together may seem like the better option for children, and in some cases, parents might be able to make it work. They might even be able to repair their relationship over time. However, it could take a toll on both parents and the kids in the long run.

Divorce might impact children, but the effects are not always negative

While it is true that divorce has an impact on children, so can staying in a house filled with tension. Sometimes, divorce is the best option. It could be what both parents need to be at their best for their children.

In the long run, most children still develop into emotionally healthy and successful adults even when their parents have divorced. Divorce may be stressful for the family at first, but as everyone grows accustomed to the changes, most people experience a happier life.

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Raleigh, NC 27615

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