When you announce your divorce, there is no shortage of people in your life who will offer you advice as you move forward. Your parents, friends who have gone through divorce and even those who have not may provide counsel.
These people mean well when they offer advice. However, when navigating a divorce, you must parse what guidance will help you – and what will hinder you.
A common adage you may hear: “Pick your battles”
It is a saying you have heard multiple times before. Frequently, it can be helpful guidance to reduce your stress. After all, it advises you to choose where and when you exert your energy.
In terms of divorce, this advice might be helpful in some cases, but not so much in others. For example:
- It could help when determining what matters are most important to you. This will be critical to inform you what you should compromise on – and what you perhaps should not. This advice can also be helpful when it comes to any conflict you might face. If your spouse continues to pick fights throughout the process of the divorce, you have the power to choose how you respond.
- On the other hand, you must address nearly every detail of your life in a divorce. Therefore, choosing specific issues to focus on may not necessarily be an option.
“Pick your battles” may be a common refrain that guides you in some cases, but how should you manage this often unsolicited advice?
3 things to remember
Even if you know your loved ones mean well, receiving unsolicited or unhelpful advice about your situation can often leave you feeling frustrated. In these situations, it can help to:
- Acknowledge them: They offer advice because they care. You can thank them for their thoughts, even if you do not find the advice helpful.
- Do what is best for you: Every divorce is different. Even if a friend has gone through a divorce of their own, their experience will not match yours. Stay focused on what will work for you and your family.
- Seek professional counsel: Your family and friends may offer their help, but they do not necessarily know the ins and outs of divorce or North Carolina family law. When you need advice about this process, it will be most beneficial to seek out experienced legal guidance.
As you face a divorce, you may find yourself surrounded by other people’s thoughts – as well as their opinions. It can be overwhelming, to say the least, but you must remember that you are the one in control of this process as well as your future. You can choose how you move forward.