A divorce can be an incredibly stressful experience for families. Therefore, it is important to take extra care of your mental health as you end your marriage.
However, parents going through a divorce should also make sure they protect and care for their children’s mental health as well. Conducting mental health check-ins on a regular basis can help your family process the changes a divorce can bring more effectively.
Checking in means having regular conversations
Mental health is a tough topic to approach. It can be difficult to get your children to open up to you, especially considering the complex feelings they might experience due to the divorce. However, it can help if you:
- Are persistent in checking in regularly, but do not push your children to share anything they do not want to
- Ask open-ended questions, like those suggested by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
- Most importantly, make sure your children know you are always there for them
You do not necessarily have to schedule a check-in with your child and add it to the calendar. However, you should monitor how your child is doing and have periodic, informal conversations about their wellbeing, especially as your family adapts to your custody schedule.
Your personal check-in should not involve your kids
It is perfectly okay to tell your children that the divorce makes you sad as well. In fact, this can help validate their feelings.
However, you should not share your stress with your children or rely on them to help manage your own mental health. There are other resources available to you, such as speaking with family members, friends or even mental health professionals. Plus, you should conduct daily check-ins with yourself, to determine how you are feeling.
Understanding how your children – and you – are feeling is only the first step. However, it is a critical foundation to help you take steps to improve and care for your mental health during the process of your divorce.