Whether you ask them or not, it is common for your parents to share their opinions on every aspect of your life – even if you are an adult now. They might make comments about the cleanliness of your home, how you parent and even how you spend money.
These comments can be difficult to brush off when it comes to much larger matters, like the decision to end your marriage. The matters in your divorce are up to you and your spouse. Even so, it can be tough to manage your parents’ opinions and judgment during this already stressful time. What should you do in this situation?
Remember: Your truth is what matters
You know your marriage and relationship better than your parents do. You may know this, but it can be difficult to handle your parents when they say things like:
- “I don’t understand why, you two seemed so happy.”
- “What about the kids?”
- “Have you tried counseling?”
Handling questions like this can be overwhelming, especially on top of your divorce proceedings. It is not necessary to explain your reasons for seeking a divorce, but you can make it clear that this is the right decision for you, your family and your future.
It may help to have an honest conversation with your parents. Inform them that you will welcome their support during this time, but there is no room for unfair or unwarranted criticism.
Set boundaries
Maintaining and treasuring a relationship with your parents in your adult life is possible. However, it is critical to establish boundaries. As Healthline states, boundaries are actually healthy for all the parties involved. Especially during your divorce, it may help to make it clear that:
- You will not discuss details of your divorce with them
- You will not tolerate judgment about your decision
- Your parents should not badmouth your ex-spouse, particularly in front of your children
They may be your parents, but this is your life. You can determine just how involved they are. Your parents may have the right to their own opinions, but setting strong, healthy boundaries can help you manage just how much those opinions affect you.