When preparing to welcome a child into the world, it is common for parents to study up on child-rearing and development. This helps them know what to expect and helps their kids grow.
If North Carolina parents face a divorce, it can be a good idea to take the stages and details of child development into account, especially when negotiating a child custody arrangement.
Why is it critical to understand their development?
Considering the developmental stages your children are currently in can help you and your ex-spouse craft an effective and realistic parenting plan that prioritizes your children’s needs. Here are some examples illustrating how to factor in their stage of development:
- For three-year-olds: According to Healthline, children at this age can become easily upset if their routines change. Parents of younger children should make sure they emphasize the importance of maintaining routines and stability as much as possible in their parenting plan. This could involve having similar household rules, bedtimes and discipline in both parents’ households.
- For six- to eight-year-olds: Children at these ages often start to imitate their parents or other adults. During a divorce, you should be wary of speaking ill of your child’s other parent in front of the kids at any age. Throughout your co-parenting journey, it will also help if you and your ex-spouse demonstrate effective conflict resolution and cooperation to your children, who are watching you closely.
- For 12- to 14-year-olds: As children reach their teenage years, they yearn for more independence from their parents. It is often helpful to consider their opinions and preferences when creating or perhaps modifying your custody arrangement to accommodate your children’s ever-changing needs.
Every child is different. They could have very different experiences at each stage of development than the ones listed here. However, being familiar with these stages and your child’s individual needs can be the key to making a parenting plan that works best for your family.
Keep an eye out for regression too
In some circumstances, especially those involving high conflict, some children might exhibit regression in these stages as a coping mechanism. The stress of their parents’ divorce and the ensuing changes in their lives can lead some children to act like they did when they were younger, such as throwing tantrums or bed-wetting.
Understanding the stages of development can help you watch out for the signs of regression, so you can help your child manage the stress they experience as they grow accustomed to this next chapter after divorce.