Perhaps they are late again. Or they did not show up for your child’s game at all. It may not be the first or the last time your co-parent did not keep their word. When you and your children cannot rely on them, what exactly can you do?
There are three things you should keep in mind in these stressful co-parenting challenges.
1. Do not share your frustrations with the kids
As we have discussed in previous blog posts, a critical part of co-parenting is to avoid badmouthing your child’s other parent. Even if it is true that your co-parent is unreliable, you should not vent about this to your children.
Remember, your children are probably well aware that their other parent has often let them down. You can comfort them, and you should be there for them. Your children should know that they can rely on you.
However, you should not add fuel to the fire, so to speak. Your children do not have to know about your frustrations on top of their own complex emotions.
2. Arrange a time for a serious conversation with your co-parent
Honest, open communication is the first step to finding a solution. Sit down with your co-parent and discuss the issue. You must not let your emotions dictate the conversation, but you should find a way to make sure your co-parent understands:
- How you feel
- How your children feel
- How their actions affect the family
In some cases, your co-parent might be going through a rough time, or they need a wake-up call. The only way to find that out is to make sure you communicate.
3. Consider your options for moving forward
If your co-parent continues to be unreliable or even violates your custody arrangement, there are steps you can take. The North Carolina Judicial Branch notes that it may be possible to:
- File a motion to hold them in contempt of court and enforce the agreement
- Seek a modification of the custody arrangement if violations persist
Co-parenting can be a challenge. Co-parenting with someone you and your children cannot rely on is another level of challenge. You have options to ensure you can be there for your children and secure your family’s future.