The divorce rate among older adults in North Carolina and across the nation continues to increase. There are many unique things to address in these divorces, especially when it comes to your finances.
However, your personal and family relationships are another thing you may want to address. These relationships often feel even more important as you get older. Here is a brief overview of what you should know in these situations.
Preserving family relationships in elder divorce
In any divorce, your relationship with your family might be one of the primary concerns. If you divorce over 50 or later in life, you may wish to protect the relationships with:
- Children: A parent’s divorce is still a delicate subject, even if your children are fully grown with families of their own. As Psychology Today notes, it is still critical to protect your adult children and avoid involving them in the process as a mediator of disputes or treating them as someone to which you can vent. They may be an adult, but they are still your child, and you should take steps to protect your parent-child relationship with them.
- Grandchildren: The bond between a grandparent and their grandchildren is a special one. Both you and your ex-spouse will want to preserve that bond as well as time with your grandchildren after the divorce. Like with your children, you should take steps to avoid involving them in the emotional stress of the divorce. This includes taking extra care not to badmouth your ex-spouse in front of them or anyone in your family.
- Ex-spouse’s family: After a long marriage, you likely have established relationships with your ex-spouse’s family members. Even though your marriage is ending, you may not want to lose those close relationships you developed over the years. As we have discussed in a past blog post, there are ways to continue these relationships, but it will depend on many factors on both sides.
Every relationship is different. So, the steps you take to protect and preserve these relationships will be different as well. Depending on the relationship you have with your ex-spouse, it may help to address these concerns together.
Don’t forget your relationship with yourself
While it is natural to focus on these relationships with your family, you should make sure you still prioritize your needs and best interests as well. So, it is important to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself as you move forward.