The capacity to compromise is an important factor in life. In fact, it is common to hear that compromise is a requirement when it comes to relationships and marriage.
However, what about when individuals end that relationship? Compromising is often the last thing anyone wants to do when they seek a divorce, but it is critical to understand the role of compromise in this situation.
When should divorcing couples compromise? It depends.
Individuals must strike a careful balance when negotiating the terms of their divorce – and reaching any sort of compromise. While it is often beneficial to compromise, there are certain times when it is more prudent not to, and to stand one’s ground.
For example, the ability to compromise effectively often depends on:
- The approach couples take to divorce, such as mediation versus litigation
- The matters they are negotiating, since their child’s needs and best interests should never be compromised
- Their individual goals and needs for the future after the divorce
- The family’s current circumstances
Of course, every North Carolina divorce is different. It might be easier for one couple to compromise than another, especially if they reached a mutual agreement to end the marriage and are willing to work together. If this is not the case, reaching a compromise that works for everyone can be much more difficult.
Two elements of compromise to consider
So, how much should one compromise in a divorce? There are generally two important factors when it comes to when – and how – to compromise during divorce:
- Determining needs v. wants: Individuals should not compromise their needs. For example, it is important to prepare for the financial future after divorce and after the division of assets. Securing one’s finances can help to ensure their needs are met. Wants, on the other hand, leave some room for compromise. This often comes into play regarding certain personal property, such as furniture.
- Choosing which battles to fight: After individuals differentiate between their wants and needs, they can then determine when and on what matters they should compromise.
How much individuals should compromise depends entirely on their circumstances and their family’s needs. Considering these elements can help individuals determine how they wish to move forward.
Compromising is not always easy, especially between two people who are seeking to end their marriage. However, it is something that individuals must evaluate and consider carefully as they approach a divorce.