How can I move forward after infidelity and divorce?

The prospect of ending a marriage can become even more overwhelming when individuals are also dealing with a spouse’s infidelity. While infidelity can often lead to divorce, it is never an easy thing to deal with.

Both of these experiences can have a stressful and profound impact on one’s life. So, how can individuals handle and overcome these two distressing events?

Infidelity is still a catalyst for divorce

According to a Business Insider report in 2019, 59.6% of divorcing couples still cite extramarital affairs as the reason for getting a divorce or at least a turning point leading to the couple’s divorce. Infidelity can significantly damage the trust in a relationship. There is no denying that a partner’s infidelity is painful, and it can have long-term effects.

It is no secret that it is difficult to move forward after a divorce, and infidelity can make that process even more challenging. Despite the difficulties and challenges involved, it is possible for individuals to heal.

What should you do to move forward?

First, individuals should take some time to think. While infidelity is a common impetus leading to divorce, ending a marriage is still a big decision. If individuals do choose to pursue a divorce, they should avoid focusing on infidelity and allow their attorney to deal with that element of the case. Instead, it can help if they focus on:

1. Themselves: Experiencing a spouse’s infidelity can significantly impact one’s self-esteem. Individuals should not overlook this effect. They should seek out support, whether from professionals, friends or family, and concentrate on self-care. This can be difficult but it is necessary.
2. The future: When moving forward with a divorce it is important to focus on the future. Letting the infidelity that occurred in the past influence one’s judgment or decisions in the divorce is often not helpful. Additionally, North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state. Individuals do not need to prove grounds for divorce. However, infidelity could affect alimony payments, since the law often sees it as marital misconduct.

The process of healing after divorce – and after experiencing infidelity – can take time. Even so, it is critical for individuals to remember that these experiences are not failures. It is possible to move on and lead a fulfilling life.