The discovery of a spouse’s unfaithfulness can be earth-shattering. You may feel completely lost and unsure of how to move forward. In this stressful, devastating time, there are three things you should remember.
1. Try not to overthink – too much
It is common to overthink why a spouse was unfaithful. You may ruminate over the past trying to spot signs of their infidelity. Some people even wonder if there was something they could have done to prevent this from happening. Remember: An unfaithful spouse is responsible for their own actions, not the person who suffered the betrayal.
You may want answers, but overthinking can frequently lead to a downward spiral into anxiety and even depression. It also rarely results in a solution. You can save yourself from more pain by avoiding that spiral as much as possible.
2. Put yourself first
Safeguard your personal and mental health. This may involve cutting off any contact with your spouse, even if it is temporary, so you can focus on yourself and your path forward.
Overcoming this emotional turmoil can be incredibly difficult. It will take time, and frequently a lot of work. Rebuilding trust in yourself after a partner broke your trust in them, can be the key to help you move on.
3. If you decide to divorce, their infidelity could have an impact
As we have covered in previous blog posts, North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state. This means you cannot hold your spouse responsible or essentially penalize them for being unfaithful.
That being said, a spouse’s infidelity or “marital misconduct” could potentially come into play if you seek alimony or spousal support. Marital misconduct is one of the many factors to consider when calculating support.
If you determine that your marriage is over, you must take time to understand the details and nuances like this as you move forward with the process of divorce. The next steps may feel overwhelming, but it is possible to begin a new chapter and strive towards happiness in the future.